Miscellaneous Notes

I visited the SONY showroom today that was home to the new 3D LED! I abandoned my pursuit of the recorder (reason of my visit to the store) and focused all my attention on the shining new "slick" machine. The sales guy with his typical "Bombaiyaa" dukandari gave me a complete run down of that sexy thing...I mean sexy...Just check out SONY's web page for detailed features and you will see that damn thing photographed from different angles as it poses like a super model!
Moving on... I was given those super cool 3D glasses (which remind me of my own pair of sunglasses) and voila! A third dimension emerged as I watched a polar bear skinny dip in a pool of ice water, playing around. I could see the surface of the water as it bobbled up and down with the bear's belly which had a cuddly round shape! I swear I thought it was pregnant! This entire 3D image made me feel like I was in an aquarium and the TV screen was actually the glass wall! My entire face was lit up in glee when the showing came to an end! So my new aim in life is to earn that ** INR in surplus and own that thing!

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On a slightly related note, I have rejoined the gym after my sojourn. Consequently, my walk has been replaced by our very own "Munnabhai's" swagger complete with the position of the hands as I balanced my embarrassing weight on seriously exhausted quadriceps!


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PS - Tequila rocks :)

TerribleTwos? OR Terrific Twos?

I spent 4 hours with about 15 two year olds yesterday. They were all bright eyed and excited. Most of them were accustomed to their 120 minute class that included a lunch/snack break. Among these veteran two year olds was a 3 foot tall new member, who was not at all happy nor comfortable in those foreign surroundings. He bawled and howled till we were sure he was dehydrated. Finally he yielded and had a sip of water. His traumatic experience amused his peers who looked at him with not apprehension but mild amusement. They did not desert him or even shrink away from him. A couple of them even tried their best to console him by patting his cheek and tummy! I guess we all could learn a lesson in compassion from these two year olds!
And ofcourse there were excellent examples of ‘boys will be boys’ as they pushed and shoved each other and even ‘boy handled’ a classmate in the process!  All sorrows were forgotten as the teacher asked them to apologize to each other! Then ensued the lunch break wherein they nibbled at their boxes and snatching each others biscuits in the process. As the 120 minutes were up they hurried to their bags and shoes and slipped them on with equal fervor craning their necks to find their parents!
What wouldn’t we all give to be two again... where the biggest concerns of our life was if the teacher was handing out our own bags... guess we learn being possessive earlier on than we imagine!

WOMEN POWER

PROFFESSION: Domestic Help

RESPONSIBILITIES: Cooking and Cleaning

PART TIME JOB: Fish retail

EXTRA CURRICULAR ACTIVITES: Police Representative for her settlement

Dressed in a crisp saree, rather loud jewellery and sporting a hairdo where not a single hair is EVER out of place, my maid arrives every morning, with a scorn on her face. The minute she steps in though, her frown changes to a pleasant expression as she brisk walks to her work station. She deftly manoeuvres her way around the kitchen making hot chappatis/phulkas and an accompanying sabji with practiced ease and efficiency. Not a single minute is wasted but there is never a compromise on the small talk. We met after a period of...I guess 2 years and I am still a little surprised at her candor as she bluntly narrates all that happens in her neighbourhood. Then the topic moved to why that ‘funny looking’ man from “Aamrika” was getting so much importance. I mean what exactly do we want from him. She pauses a little and creases appear on her brow as she concentrates to remember his name. “OOBAAMA?” She asks. As my grandmum and I discuss world politics she listens keenly and even adds her two cents.

I am already impressed. But she does not stop there. She continues discussing all currents topics from the Aadarsh fiasco to the third airport of Mumbai. Granted she didn’t know there were already two airports but she did know that a third one was close to being sanctioned! All this from an barely educated women who is embarrassed to even sign her name and speak before the public. But I wonder why... cause she can easily put half the so called educated youngsters in India to shame with her opinionated view points. This women is also involved with the locals as she acts as a mediator in an final attempt to settle issues before they are made legal. She sends her sons to college and does her best to keep them invested in their education despite lacking one. The same dedicated woman with a social conscience is not without compassion as she tries her best to support stray animals. Currently she is supporting a dog, a cat, a rabbit, a squirrel and to the best of my knowledge half the dogs in my neighbourhood as well.

This woman my friends is in my opinion an established strong woman with exceptional taste who does not allow social and economic borders to limit her. She transcends beyond them and does her best to give back to the very community she is a part of.

Innovative Pillows

I came across these new designs when browsing the web..

Spread the Smileys :)

INCEPTED!!

Is no place “SAFE” enough for your utmost prized possessions? What about your secrets, desires and dreams? Isn’t it enough to keep it hidden in the deepest recesses of your mind?? When it comes to burglary, in Christopher Nolan’s world, no places are off limit, including your subconscious mind. Di Caprio and his associates, specialize in invading the mind by inducing sleep and stealing personal thoughts while the person is still dreaming. While this may make them appear invincible, their greatest fear is of a reoccurring nightmare – of not knowing whether they are in the real world or in the dream world! To skirt around their very real fear, the team use a ‘tottem’ a random object, the weight, dimensions and characteristics of which are unique and known only to the bearer. This ‘tottem’ acts like their talisman which would behave in a specific way in the dream world letting its bearer know that they were dreaming! Di Caprio’s totem was an unidentifiable, circular tiny ‘top’ like object that would topple in the real world, but spin endlessly in the dream world! This knowledge was probably equally important to the viewers and Di Caprio in order to distinguish between the real and the imaginary worlds!
The term ‘INCEPTION’ implies the commencement/initiation of a monumental event. As hinted by the title of the movie, instead of their practice of extracting information, the notoriously elite group, are hired to implant a thought in the target’s mind. The group is understandably anxious as they are expected to digress from their practice of extracting information, the knowledge of which is immaterial to the target once the task is complete and the target is roused from his slumber. In contrast, the success of “inception” relied solely on the extent of delusion because the person would act on a ‘planted idea’ only if he considered it as a product of inspiration. To complicate matters, the concept of inception was not alien to the super rich and omnipotent hence the odds of the target suspecting the idea to be seeded by an invader were anything but slim.

The film starts by introducing the audience to a dual layer dream which in fact was a ‘qualifer test’ for the elite group, excelling which, would have earned them their biggest deal. As expected, failure would deliver them to their grave.
In addition to the introduction of stealing secrets in the dream world, the audience is familiarized with the people who engineer various elements of the dream world and get a glimpse into Di Caprio’s clichéd, complicated past giving the otherwise rapid pulsed, sci-fi movie a dark psycho shade!
Interestingly, akin to our everyday dreams, the target and the invaders could snap out of their reverie by responding to tactile and auditory stimulations by a ‘conscious’ handler. If all else failed, death in a dream, would definitely jolt them out of the trance! Other intriguing facets include, people’s projections of others in their subconscious and the ‘crumbling effect’ produced on the dream’s landscape while the dreamer gained consciousness. However, lame these things sound when spelled out, lose all criticism to the visual effects projected on the big screen that invoke astonishment and surprise keeping the audience deeply engrossed throughout its screening. A bit of an overdose was the target’s trained subconscious setting up defenses to this inception in the form of trained marine and other brawny guys with weapons!
I found myself hooked and optimistic till the very end, hoping the elite achieve their goal. While the end is unexpected, it did leave me disappointed at the outcome! However, the disappointment was made up when a fellow adult viewer involuntarily cried out “OH NO” which made the entire theatre giggle and clap in unison as the credits rolled on!
Sure, they could have cut out some of the emotional crap and made a movie for the “right brained” folks, but hey with Di Caprio’s effortless acting, outstanding concept, novel approach and the splendid special effects... it is worth every 150 minutes of your time.
Folks... don’t miss this one... Dream on my friends! J

The Best of the Nineties!

In 1999, I graduated with a SSC degree! It was a wonderful year, and I LOVED every second of my tenth grade... being seniors, on the verge of stepping into the adult world and to say nothing about the summer vacation I had to look forward to! Despite my best intentions, those memories faded away to be replaced by exciting things life brought to me in my undergraduate years. This wasn’t surprising considering that some of the best moments of my life happened in 2001! I turned 18 and learnt to drive, could vote, received my first cell phone (was uncommon back then), had another fabulous holiday! So you can only imagine how and why my grey cells recycled the ‘carefree moments’ of my childhood and adolescence and replaced them with these ‘exciting, novel’ experiences! As time passed, and the pressures of adulthood proved tedious, my brain metamorphosed and released those precious memories of my past again!
This week, I met an old friend after a long time that revived some more of those old memories.... when I did not have a justifiable worry in the world, when life was simpler, when summer vacations existed and so did the concept of pocket money!
And as I sat in the bus thinking of those days of uniforms, scary test papers, school bells, lunch breaks, dabbas, awful canvass shoes, geometry sets... I felt like I was 12 again and when the bus reached the stop... I found myself skipping all the way to work humming to my radio!

Shutter Island - An Review

SHUTTER ISLAND .............Was a complete surprise!

Betrayal, insanity, commitment, friendship and humanity!

This is a fantastic thriller that keeps the viewer glued to the seat holding on to each word...guessing till the very last minute! Shutter Island is an explosive combination of a superb storyline, spectacular performances and a tight screenplay! The twist keeps the viewer riveted on the spot, oscillating between two impossible possibilities....each more farfetched than the other!

Di Caprio has done it again, gotten into character and convinced the audience of the conspiracy shroud that clouds “shutter island” home to the criminally insane. He convincingly plays the part of the brave detective, one who will do anything to expose the questionable tactics in play at the asylum. His 2 day journey to find the elusive man comes to fruition with shocking results! The wife’s betrayal, followed by the couple's insanity that tests DiCaprio and his partner’s friendship, questioning their commitment to the case they are diligently following for the sake of humanity!

Madly in Love with Moonsoons

June was my favorite time of the year... yes loved it more than my birthday month!
All because of the onset of moonsoons.. they were our prize for enduring the blistering summer, that left us almost shriveled and aching for the rains to bless us again!

The first rain of the season usually lasted for a short time and sneaked upon us in the middle of the night, its wondrous pattering drowned by the air conditioner's humming! The damp, clean roads were a dead give away in addition to the cool breeze that swept past us carrying the indescribable smell of "after rains"! Aaah... total bliss... the moonsoon is here!!! The season of overcast skies, gentle breeze, rain, rainbows, hot cuppa chais and bhajiyas and the waterfalls disappearing among the fog and mist!

It was also the start of the new year. New books, new dresses, new teachers who we hoped were oblivious to our 'shortcomings' and 'pranks'! The excitement was heightened by the weather which caused delays and at times flooded our schools and colleges... gifting us an impromptu holiday! I vividly remember the graveyard opposite our school grounds which had turned green in a week and did not look spooky anymore... despite the weird noise the wind made when it echoed across it! I have clearer memories of the lush lawn and hillocks around my college that looked fresh after a morning shower, making it impossible to attend classes... so a group of friends decided to cut class for the day and visit Khandala! This was one of the best vacations of my life! We were supposed to go to college, and a dear friend was supposed to pick me up from the station, because it was pouring. We were practically drenched and in no mood of sitting through whatever our first class was about.. when someone said "lets go to Khandala"! Without a second thought we rushed there and had a simply fabulous trip. "Bushi dam", countless little waterfalls and a very good meal later we rushed back home. Every year we reminisce about this trip and wish we could turn back time and go there again!

So for those of you in my beloved Bombay, do visit Khandala and send me pics! :) OR simply stroll around Marine drive and catch a afternoon show at regal! Have fun my friends... dekho barish ho rahi hain...!! :) :) :)

Iron Man 2!

What springs to your mind when it reads the words Iron Man 2?? For those of you who have seen its precursor.. Robert Downey’s face lights up the memory as he smiles rather smugly before flying off into the sky in a red metallic suit! For others...picture forms of a lumbering crude metal robot that is neither agile nor intellectually capable of doing anything but swing Neanderthal weapons around. For the latter group... I kind of envy you guys because you will enter the cinema hall with a blank slate and be genuinely surprised and equally impressed with a sleek machine and a radiant heart that swoons in and transforms to a charismatic and ostentatious billionaire Tony Stark.

Stark, a prodigy whose lineage boasts of innovations in weaponry developed the concept of a single fighter man with flying prowess, an impenetrable shield and other innumerable assets to protect America and her interests against threats both foreign and domestic. Stark actually makes the perfect poster boy to "glamorize" the otherwise dorky research world!

Seething with arrogance and complacency Stark went around what he thought were his last days attempting to live his life to the fullest when his vacation was cut short by a savage beast wearing a suit very similar to the one Stark created.

The audience gets a glimpse of the self assured man’s vulnerabilities and proof of that he did care inspite of portraying a devil may care attitude. From then on the movie takes on a full throttle and action scenes and special effects take the front seat for the rest of the adrenaline shot ride.

I walked out of the theatre smiling and completely high on adrenaline that raced through my veins temporarily deceiving me to believe that I too could swivel around and kick some ass! The icy cold wind rudely knocked my sense back to place as I scrambled back to the car with the smile intact on my face!

Go watch it my friends!

Twisted ideas to save the world!

Following was emailed to me!


Recently there has been debate in national press relating to human beings' total life impact on the environment. Studies have shown that although people with unhealthy lifestyles (lack of exercise, excessive drinking, smoking and unhealthy eating) do consume slightly more resources per day than fit and healthy people, they do not live as long on average, and therefore will consume less of the earth's resources over their total lifespan.

For example, the 2004 Surgeon General's Report on the Health Consequences of Smoking states "During 1995-1999, smoking caused approximately 440,000 premature deaths in the United States annually, leading to 13.2 years of potential life lost for male smokers, and 14.5 years lost for female smokers". This represents an 18% reduction in average life expectancy, and infers a similar reduction in the total amount of resources used.

http://www.surgeongeneral.gov/library/smokingconsequences/

Although we are not actively advocating for an unhealthy lifestyle, know that by reaching for a Guinness or Twinkie, or just skipping the gym for a few days, you could in the long run be having a positive effect on the environment!

Banned from Walmart..

This is why women should not take men shopping against their will.

After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to Wal-Mart. Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out. Equally unfortunately, my wife is like most women - she loved to browse.

Yesterday my dear wife received the following letter from the local Wal-Mart:

Dear Mrs. Gilbert
Over the past six months, your husband has been causing quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and have been forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against Mr. Gilbert are listed below and are documented by our video surveillance cameras .

1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they weren't looking.

2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minut e intervals.

3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the women's restroom.

4 July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice, 'Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it right away.'

5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&M's on layaway.

6. August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

7. August 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told other shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring pillows and blankets from the bedding department.

8. August 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began crying and screamed, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'

9. September 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a mirror while he picked his nose.

10. September 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, he asked the clerk where the antidepressants were..

11.. October 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the ' Mission Impossible' theme.

12. October 6: In the auto department, he practiced his 'Madonna look' by using different sizes of funnels.

13.. October 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through yelled, 'PICK ME! PICK ME!'

14. October 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumed a fetal position and screamed, 'OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!'
And last, but not least...

15. October 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile, then yelled very loudly, 'Hey! There's no toilet paper in here!'
Sincerely,
Wal-Mart


This is way too funny NOT to share!

Superstitous ME!

The west is superstitious too and I have willingly fallen prey to this superstition!
Groundhog is a adorable creature who is famous for his ability to predict the onset of spring. Tradition dictates that on the 2nd of February, the groundhog is lured out of his home. If this furry animal sees its own shadow and scampers back in, spring is pronounced to be 6 weeks away!

Long long ago.. this custom originated in a land we now call Germany. The then Europeans depended on the Bagder's role of oracle as he predicted the onset of spring and set their farming clock accordingly. When the Germans migrated to Pennsylvania the Badger's role was taken over by Groundhogs native to the region. And the tradition has stuck ever since.

So the enthusiastic ME has become the superstitious ME as I eagerly await Spring which my furry little friend says is 6 weeks away! :)

Ishiqkiya!

Love? Lust? Hatred? Revenge? Redemption? Or... everything?

This movie is a cocktail of all the above emotions which is bound to give you a 'high' as you revel in its complexities and leaves you with a pleasant hangover as your musings enjoy its rerun in your mind! The one word that describes the movie is 'crass' or may be even 'devious'! With an utter lack of principles or even a hint of decency the main characters go about their life with a happy go lucky attitude until they land in a world of trouble. Shah and Warsi expertly play their parts of wayward criminals who elope with their brother-in-law’s dough!

Lacy Luck brings brings them to Balan's door step who willingly welcomes them into her empty home. Balan has previously lost her criminal husband to a gas explosion that she herself narrowly escaped! Once the money has mysteriously disappeared, the trio find themselves in a spot...desperate to save their lives! Balan convinces the unruly duo into a seemingly simple kidnapping scheme to earn their loot back and assumes the role of a temptress to ensure the duo’s lasting commitment to their scheme. Balan manages to seduce both men and that is the audience’s first clue to her not so benign intentions! What follows afterward is a series of goof ups and tons of drama as the story unfolds. The climax is pretty unpredictable and the fresh twist makes this a welcome change!

Balan's undying love for her dead husband, Warsi's lust, Balan's hatred and revenge and the duo's desperate attempt at redemption! All in a all a power packed must see Bollywood movie.... that is for those fools who question the film’s entertainment quality inspite of the Shah-Warsi-Balan combination!