IF by Rudyard Kipling

To my father and

For all the tough gals and guys out there

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you
But make allowance for their doubting too,
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise:

If you can dream--and not make dreams your master,
If you can think--and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with worn-out tools:

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it all on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breath a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on!"

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with kings--nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you;
If all men count with you, but none too much,
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And--which is more--you'll be a Man, my son!

The festival of lights! दिवाली

Diwali is the Christmas of India...celebrated by one and all regardless of their religion. Diwali is probably the most popular of all Hindu festivals. It marks the celebration of Lord Rama’s victory over the rakshaas ‘Ravana’.

Smitten by Sita’s beauty, Ravana had abducted Sita and held her captive in Lanka {his kingdom}. Lord Ram the eldest of King Dashtra’s sons’ was sentenced to 12 years of ‘vanvas’ {live in the forest as a common man. He was accompanied by his wife Sita and brother Laxman}. It was here that Ravana saw and abducted Sita.

SriRama travelled all the way across to Lanka and defeated Ravana in battle. People welcomed Lord Ram when he returned with Sita by lighting diyas .

There were so many of them that when they formed a long queue they appeared as a line of lamps (avali: rows).

Every year that day in the hindu calendar is celebrated by lighting lamps and fire crackers and is hence the named “Deepavali”.

Deep(diyas or lamps) + Avali(rows) = Deepavali ; which has been shortened to diwali!

Over years the interpretation of this festival has changed making today’s version of Diwali pretty different. I am going to give you all a glimpse of celebration of diwali in present day India…or more so..present day Bombay and as its modified version in Lubbock, Texas!

True to that myth diwali is still celebrated across the nation, and now probably all over the globe by lighting diyas and hanging lanterns…aptly being called the festival of lights.

On a philosophical level, diyas spread the light of hope and happiness; driving away the darkness originating from all the negative things.

This festival is celebrated by creating beautiful drawings on the porch, using rangoli! Diyas are then lit at the main entrance and all over the place. Lanterns also popularly known as “kandils” are hung on the doorstep. On the day of lakshmi poojan all this is done to welcome Lakshmi the Goddess of wealth into our homes! That marks the first day of diwali. For some people, dhanteraas is celebrated on the day before Lakshmi poojan. On that day, money and ornaments are worshipped to honor the Goddess.

The third day of diwali marks the Hindu New Year when Lord Satyanarayan is worshipped.

Bhau-bheez a festival where siblings celebrate their bond and love for each other is celebrated on the fifth day. Traditionally the sister cooks and invites her brother for dinner. The brother in return gets her gifts and promises to help and support her by being her best friend.

The highlight of this festival for most is the fireworks. The magnitude of fireworks had increased tremendously; disrupting peace. The government has finally decided to intervene and has set up a time limit until which the fireworks can be used. Furthermore, an additional ban was placed on the type of fireworks being used, which are measured in terms of decibels of sound they produce!

Inspite of these obvious drawbacks... I adore the festival of Diwali। The entire city is dressed up in vibrant colors and the sky is full of lights emanating from the fireworks. Plus everyone is extra nice to each other owing to the holiday spirit; to say nothing about the goodies being cooked and served!

After staying in “beloved” Bombay for 23 years I moved to Texas, specifically Lubbock। Lubbock is a university town and has nothing exciting going on unless you have some fun people around. So for Diwali which invariably falls in the middle of midterms and submissions, we (friend circle) get together and do Laxmi poojan. It is fun, all of us cook a dish and get it to the get-together. This is popularly known as potluck, which is much more fun as you get a variety of dishes like the time when you were back home! This helps bring about some festive spirit and makes the day special inspite of being thousands of miles away from home!

WOOOOAA!

There is a certain green-eyed monster who visits all of us from time to time.... who lifts his ugly head when someone out there gets what he has been craving for! The green-eyed monster is a manifestation of a ingrained desire to achieve something at all costs। It is probably God’s way of making humans try harder when someone else beats them to it! So the question is.... does the monster have a villainous trait?.... or is he a friendly neighbor with obnoxious tastes?

I believe that as long as the monster behaves himself and does not hurt anyone in his presence..... he is a friend who is a little bossy but helps you work towards that something special to you!

My reference to the monster in the male form is ironical as the ladies are more likely to harbor these green-eyed creatures! My reasoning behind this is that the men probably don’t care much either way!

Travel to “CHI” Town!

Chicago the windy city is named so for a verrry good reason. The day I landed, it was (weather) forecasted that the temperature would be in the early 60s (F) with a 30% chance of precipitation. In Lubbock, a 30% chance of precipitation translates to a “dry” day.....so there I am sure that it was going to be a bright sunny day! Instead I am greeted with gusty winds and lots of dark clouds... that brought a big smile to my face (I am a rain loving person). Regrettably my cheery mood lasted only till the end of the conference (I was in town for the WEFTEC thing). The silly rains did not stop as the weather person had predicted but continued to do so for the rest of the evening. The soggy evening ruined my plans of riding the wendella boats... something that I had been craving to do ever since I had googled ‘places to visit in Chicago’!

So all sad and dejected.... but determined to atleast see the boats... I programmed the GPS to take me there. Unfortunately the stunning Chicago sky line prevents the GPS from receiving any signals in the downtown area and consequently I got hopelessly lost in the underground maze of tiny streets। In utter frustration I took the first way out only to end up at Navy Pier (the big smile returns)! Happy once again... I decide to park and stroll a little... but it was soooooooo windy and chilly that I was forced to return!

Now completely out of patience I decided to just drive around near downtown and admire the architecture.... its spectaculer even to a layman with no architectural background. To my architect friends....it’s a remarkable feast for your eyes. The buildings are a medley of classic historical and modern architecture... very stylish!

Michigan Avenue is a must visit for all on the Chicago tour. I stumbled onto M.Avenue by quiet an accident. After multiple failed attempts of finding the wendella boats, I drove to downtown and parked at the nearest parking center.

<<Michigan Avenue

After bundling up,I was strolling around aimlessly in search of a bistro that had caught my fancy minutes earlier, when I discovered M.Avenue by sheer dumb luck!

Indeed........Michigan Avenue = Magnificent Mile!

It was spectacular, with all the top of the line stores and offices calling it home; the avenue was dazzling and full of life। I crossed the Michigan river to see the empty wendella boats bobbing up and down near its edge! YEAA... mission partly accomplished! I also saw Chicago’s “river walk” area all dark, damp and deserted; little scary actually!

I passed the royal Chicago Tribune building and a local radio station (very chic) just around the corner. Finally I saw a bakery and sandwich place which made the most amazing sandwiches....(had the ambience of a French café)....really wish could remember the name...this would definitely be at the top of my list of my recommendations of “things to do in Chicago”! After another quick walk and a heated debate on “is this Sears Tower or not”.... I unwillingly decided to call it a night. If I wasn’t alone, I would definitely have roamed the streets longer...sigh!

>>> Sears Tower in the background

Much later when I was seeing the pictures I had shot, I realized that I had seen Sears tower when I first parked my car... and here is the picture... dummy me!

Drive to Holiday Inn which was a good 30 minutes away was dull in the absence of the grandeur of M.Avenue! The hotel was comfortable and pretty nice. After a hurried dinner I watched W.A.L.L.E.! Had been waiting so long to see it, that my expectations had rocketed upwards... that kinda made the movie mundane... a robot with feelings; a lonely robot in love.. not the most original script I think! I also watched Namesake...Tabu was brilliant as ever... and PLEASE .... I DO NOT LOOK like her! GRR.... to whoever, who had said that!

The next day was bright and sunny contrary to my expectations of another soggy day. I had decided to sleep in late and laze around! But after seeing how sunny it was I practically ran all the way to breakfast and back and was all packed and set to go site seeing! I visited the “Millennium Park” and “Navy Peir that day”. Millenium park was nice... not very impressive... apart from the fact that it was on Michigan Avenue! I absolutely loved the Crown fountain with its face। There was this apartment on the other side of Michigan Avenue which I think I loved more than the park I believe! If there was this wish I could have granted.... it would be to stay in those condominiums!

>>>Crown Fountain at Millennium Park

>>>On my wish list!

<<Cloud Gate

The cloud gate is an ultra modern sculpture by some Indian architect. There might be some significance to it... but honestly it was vague and to me... all it does is shows you a distorted version of you...that too from 360 degrees ! I did not have to travel 2000 miles to see this! But it was on the way to the crown fountain and I did click a few pics... so herez a glimpse of what I think is the over-rated thing in Chicago!

After a lot of debating on “would I miss my 2:15 flight” if I run to the Navy Pier..... I beat my opposing "practical self" down and hurried back to the car. Following the GPS’s lead I reached Navy Pier with its bright red giant wheel (or as J puts it “laal laal” in his whimsical accent).

The Giant Wheel at Navy Pier!

The lakefront was dotted with white sailboats with little ripples lapping away at their edges...so picturesque। Wish wasn’t driving and could capture that scene on film which is now only stored in my memory

Navy pier was like a fair at a sea shore.... wonderfully colorful and bustling with activity. I got my caricature drawn there... which sadly doesn’t not even remotely resemble me...waste of $10!

Bought a bunch of postcards and souvenirs and rushed back to the car for my return trip to good old Lubbock। That’s the most I could sight see in a day’s visit to Chi town... really hope to return again this time with J to make the trip even more fun!

PS: I owe my trip to Anuja and Paru for helping me plan everything... they were my tour guides!

The trip was successful solely due to them! Kudos to Anuja for taking time to help me plan inspite her bad schedule! Also... I stole some of Chicago’s “pet names” from her!

Thanks a million dears.

Friendship!! मेरे सरे सहलियों के naam

Good Friends in life are like parachutes that make your sky jump a truly memorable experience. Friendship is an extra special relation because good friends transform themselves into the relation that is missing in your life... they take a role of your mum and nurse you when you are sick, a role of your sister and let you pour your heart out without any judgment....they are your family away from home. Staying with friends strikes a perfect balance between being independent and having your safety net at the same time.

Years ago there was another forward about “GIRLFRIENDS” and the special role they play in a woman’s life.

A young wife sat on a sofa on a hot humid day, drinking iced tea and visiting with her Mother. As they talked about life, about marriage, about the responsibilities of life and the obligations of adulthood, the mother clinked the ice cubes in her glass thoughtfully and turned a clear, sober glance upon her daughter.

"Don't forget your girlfriends," she advised, swirling the tealeaves to the bottom of her glass. "They'll be more important as you get older. No matter how much you love your husband, no matter how much you love the children you'll have, you are still going to need girlfriends. Remember to go places with them now and then; do things with them. And remember that "girlfriends" are not only your friends, but your sisters, your daughters, and other relatives too.

You'll need other women. Women always do.

What a funny piece of advice,' the young woman thought. 'Haven't I just gotten married? Haven't I just joined the couple-world? I'm now a married woman, for goodness sake, a grownup, not a young girl who needs girlfriends! Surely my husband and the family we'll start will be all I need to make my life worthwhile!'

But she listened to her Mother; she kept contact with her girlfriends and made more each year. As the years tumbled by, one after another, she gradually came to understand that her Mom really knew what she was talking about. As time and nature work their changes and their mysteries upon a woman, girlfriends are the mainstays of her life. After 50 years of living in this world, here is what I know about girlfriends:

Ø Girlfriends bring you chicken curry and scrub your bathroom when you need help.

Ø Girlfriends keep your children and keep your secrets.

Ø Girlfriends give advice when you ask for it. Sometimes you take it, sometimes you don't.

Ø Girlfriends don't always tell you that you're right, but they're usually honest.

Ø Girlfriends still love you, even when they don't agree with your choices.

Ø Girlfriends laugh with you, and you don't need canned jokes to start the laughter.

Ø Girlfriends pull you out of jams.

Ø Girlfriends help you get out of bad relationships.

Ø Girlfriends help you look for a new apartment, help you pack, and help you move.

Ø Girlfriends will give a party for your son or daughter when they get married or have a baby, in whichever order that comes!

Ø Girlfriends are there for you, in an instant and when the hard times come.

Ø Girlfriends listen when you lose a job or a friend.

Ø Girlfriends listen when your children break your heart.

Ø Girlfriends listen when your parents' minds and bodies fail.

Ø Girlfriends support you when the men in your life let you down.

Ø Girlfriends help you pick up the pieces when men pack up and go.

Ø Girlfriends rejoice at what makes you happy, and are ready to go out and kill what makes you unhappy.

• Times passes.

• Life happens.

• Distance separates.

• Children grow up.

• Love waxes and wanes.

• Hearts break.

• Careers end.

• Jobs come and go.

• Parents die.

• Colleagues forget favors.

• Men don't call when they say they will.

BUT girlfriends are there, no matter how much time and how many miles are between you. A girlfriend is never farther away than needing her can reach.

Memoirs of (my) childhood!

Being the only child.... I was indeed a spoilt brat in many regards. I was given the first priority and everyone doted on me! Some incidents are very special to me for reasons unknown and they form my most coveted memories. Here are the top 3!

1. Age 3-4: Excursions with mum to the temple and garden.

I remember (mostly cause my mum brags about how much she did for me as a child in an attempt to blackmail me to do something I don’t want to!) going to this temple with mum...its a tiny place in the middle of a ‘basti’ literally and I used to love it... somehow I felt very much at peace there.

Another memory is playing at the Johnson and Johnson garden in Mulund W... and please it was not as shabby as it is now.. it was really lovely and was rather far away from my home... so visits to this garden were not so common a trip. I was little older here...may be 6 or 7... and I adored it... because it was huge with a big lawn and comparatively smaller play area... I even remember wondering why anyone would build a smaller play area and waste space on lawn instead! (giggles!)

2. Age3: Lunch with ajji.

After the morning nursery session I was brought home to my nani’s (maternal grandmum) place for lunch. And believe it or not feeding time was the hardest... and a challenge then literally (so I hear now!). But nani used to serve me lunch and fed me too... I remember the way she used to arrange everything... which kind of tricked me into eating!

When I was little older... she used to narrate a story about her, ajjoba (grandpa) and me. The three of us ran a restaurant “SUPUSHRI” wherein

SU= sumati (my nani), PU=POO= Poorva; SHRI = Shrikrishna (my nana)!

The aim of the restaurant was to earn enough money to buy a brand new red maruti (very popular then)! The story was all about how my nani cooked and the food serving arrangements. Will never forget those days! Sometimes even today we discuss those recipes. BTW: my nani is the bestest cook ever.

3. Age 5-7: Trips with papa to sarvajanik Ganapatis during Ganesh chaturthi.

I was super doooooper excited because I was out late with papa. We had a two-wheeler then and I used to sit on top of the petrol tank and ride to the Ganesh celebrations. The roads were all lit and crowded with people. Peddlers selling cheap toys, whistles, balloons and many other colorful stuff littered the street. It was amazing and I think I had more fun then, than on any other trip. Sigh.... REWIND PLEASE.

Lady-Like!

Often as a little girl... I was reprimanded for being “unlady-like”! Whenever I heard the term “lady-like”....a “lady finger” {aka Okra/bhindi} would form in my brain and the whole thing would made me laugh.

My grandma and mum tried hard to change the tomboyish streak in me and I always wondered what the big deal about it was. Why was it necessary to act a certain way...sit, walk and talk a certain way. No swearing, no bad-mouthing! Unfortunately I have this rebellious trait in me which made me act the opposite of what was being ‘preached’ to me!

However, over the years... I kind of mellowed down and gradually learned how to be ‘lady-like’! I did change my thought and action processes which kind of make life easier and prettier for me!

I learned to forgive and let go... learnt to hold my tongue and bite back strong repartees {not always though}, learnt to wish the best for my competitors... learnt to think of the bigger picture and compromise.. learnt to stay away from gossip {again... not always!}, learnt to understand the other person’s point of view and not sulk when I do not get my way {I resort to pouting instead!}.

Over all... I think being “lady-like” is hard in the beginning ... but real fun once you learn the ropes... because there is always room for recuperation! All in all it’s about being an adult which you do... once you grow up!